• Broj meteora za vrijeme meteorskog roja biti će na minimumu dok ne odlučite napraviti pauzu

• Broj meteora za vrijeme meteorskog roja biti će na minimumu dok ne zaspete
• Ako gledate na sjever, većina meteora će se pojaviti na jugu
• Ako gledate na jug, većina će ih se pojaviti na sjeveru
• Kada se pojavi najsjajniji meteor, vjerojatno ćete gledati u smjeru 180 stupnjeva od toga
• Kada se pojavi najsjajniji meteor, vjerojatno ćete snimati jedan od +5 magnitude
• Kada se pojavi meteor manjeg sjaja iz meteorskog roja, zapamtiti ćete njegov put, ali zaboraviti smjer
• Neće biti meteorske aktivnosti dok ne odete na WC
• Nakon nekoliko iznimno vedrih noći, noć vrhunca meteorskog roja, biti će oblačna
• Vaše ručno računalo neće raditi za vrijeme najaktivnijeg perioda
• Vaša kemijska olovka prestati će raditi za vrijeme najaktivnijeg perioda
• Vaša baterijska svjetiljka prestati će raditi za vrijeme najaktivnijeg perioda
• Najsjajniji meteor pojaviti će se u zviježđu žirafe
• Najsjajniji meteor pojaviti će se između 2 ekspozicije
• Kada se pojavi najsjajniji meteor, to mjesto neće biti označeno na vašim kartama
• Podići će se magla
• Ako je bio vedar dan, biti će oblačna noć
• Biti ćete zatrpani obvezama kada je vedra noć
• Kada uhvatite najsjajniji meteor, fotoaparat će biti izvan fokusa
• Savršene fotografije biti će upropaštene u foto studiju
• Ako promatrate 364 noći godišnje, maksimum će biti 356-tog
• Ako promatrate 365 noći godišnje, neće biti maksimuma
• Rođendan vaše žene/muža/dečka/djevojke biti će 3. siječnja, 12. kolovoza, 18. studenog i 14. prosinca
• Ako promatrate iz dvorišta, pas vašeg susjeda imati će nesanicu
• Ako promatrate iz dvorišta, vaš susjed će patiti od nesanice te će cijelu noć biti u kuhinji koja gleda na vaše dvorište
• Ako su sve noći od srpnja do 12. kolovoza bile vedre, noć 12. kolovoza biti će oblačna
• Razboljeti će te se 13. prosinca
• Ispitni rokovi biti će vam 4. siječnja
• Kada stignete na mjesto za promatranje Geminida, zaboravili ste: rukavice, dodatne čarape, toplo piće
• Nećete moći promatrati Geminide jer je pun Mjesec
• Ako nije pun Mjesec, biti će te pod oblacima
• Uvijek će te uživati u vedrim noćima kada je Mjesec pun. Nećete kada je mlađak
• Ako je predviđen maksimum, dogoditi će se 5 sati ranije i propustiti će te ga
• Ako se 5 sati ranije pripremite za maksimum neće ga biti
• Biti će vedro tijekom noći prije maksimuma meteorskog roja. Maksimum će biti prekriven oblacima
• Ne postoji sreća.
• Ako postoji, sreća nema veze s tim
• Leonidi nemaju maksimum na vašoj geografskoj širini

(adapted from thread in sci.astro.amateur)

• from Stephen Tonkin:

The Law of Inevitable Shrinkage:
Telescope- or truss-tubing, if cut to length, will be too short.

Tonkin's Law of Small-part Replication:
When you have re-assembled the piece of expensive kit you promised to clean and recollimate for a friend, there will always be one screw/nut/washer/bush left over.

Waldeman's Laws:

• 1st Law: The skies are never clear within 3 days of new moon, since there is not enough solar energy reflected off the moon to dissipate the clouds.
• 2nd Law: Rare astronomical events usually occur within 3 days of full moon and/or within 30 apparent degrees from the sun (gravitational interpretation of Murphy's law).
• 3rd Law: When observing, the object you want to see will always be below the horizon or less than 10 degrees from the horizon with the most light pollution (since frustration is related to entropy, it must always increase).
• 4th Law: Supernovae, comets, and asteroids are always discovered by someone else (because no matter where you are, the sun will always set earlier somewhere else, and therefore someone else will find it first).
• 5th Law: 90 percent of meteors occur behind you when everyone else is facing you (so they can all say, "ooh!... You missed a good one!")

The Laws of Selective Gravitation:

• 1st Law: Heavy objects land where they can do the most damage - where an excellent, lovingly figured, diffraction-limited primary is either the recipient of the heavy object or, indeed, is the object itself.
• 2nd Law: Small objects land in the place from which they are most difficult to retrieve - well known to anyone who has inadvertently loosened something like an eyepiece-retaining screw too far, or attempted to change eyepiece filters with either gloved or cold fingers.

Law of Selective Observation:
The next supernova will occur in a galaxy that you observed on the previous clear night.

Law of Selective Declination:
The most interesting astronomical event of the year will occur at a declination that is below the horizon of your observing site.

Law of Selective Vegetation:
The neighbour's tree always migrates to precisely the right place to occult your target object.

Sod's Law (Astronomer's variant of):
A dropped optic will always land surface-side down, unless it is either capped or dropped for the express purpose of proving this law.

Crighton's Law of Loss:
Lost items stay lost until either a replacement is obtained and used once or the item is no longer required - Crighton's Law also explains why things like spare drive batteries and cable-releases are found just as dawn twilight extinguishes 2nd mag stars.

Gumperson's Constant (Flanagan's Finagling Factor):
The factor by which you multiply the answer you got in order to obtain the answer you should have got - is obviously employed by many mass- producers of astronomical optics and one can't help wondering if this was the true reason for the figure of the HST mirror.

Law of Temporary Loss:
A lost item (e.g. LPR filter) will stay lost until it is either replaced or no longer required.

Law of Averted Vision:
The brightest meteor of the night will occur behind you, visible only to the people to whom you are talking at the time. (This is true for all observers, including those to whom you were talking.)

Lunar Radiation Principle:
Deep Sky observers will find that the clearest nights are around Full Moon, when the lunar radiation is sufficient to drive off the clouds and haze.

Daylight Conundrum:
With the unique exception of total solar eclipses, the year's ten most interesting astronomical events will occur when the Sun is above your horizon, unless it is raining.

Kahn's Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions - increasingly important as astronomical kit becomes more technologically complicated.

• from Scott McCluney:

Gravity increases exponentially as you approach an exposed mirror. Things like eyeglasses, screwdrivers, and pliers will be drawn to it.

• from Jeff:

Your once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a total eclipse, and a dark thunderstorm covers you.

• from Dave Storey:

Co-efficient of friction between hand and EP is inversely proportional to cost of EP raised to some power (around 2.5?).

On any mostly clear observing horizon, the one obstructing tree/streetlight/house will always migrate to the position where it obscures what you really want to look at.

Probability of clear night is proportional to cube of phase (% illumination) of the moon .. except maybe for lunar observers, where more complex relationship applies. Batteries only expire when it is a) dark, and b) miles to nearest store. Nearest store will stock all batteries except the required size, or will have n-1 of required size, where n is number needed for functionality.

• from Preston Scott Justis:

Precision Polar Alignment of this telescope for Long Exposure Astrophotography may result in high winds and (or) clouds.

• from Michael A. Covington:

My presence has the following effects on the weather at observing sites:
My first visit to a remote part of the world is usually accompanied by bizarre weather. For instance, Seattle had a whole week of clear weather the first time I went there. And the first time I set foot in England was, up to the time, the hottest day England had *ever* recorded (or so I'm told). If I have a new telescope, it will be hazy for 6 weeks. If there is a total solar eclipse, solid overcast at the moment of totality is assured. (Don't worry, I'm staying in America for August 1999!)

• from Colin:

Went to "bump" a cat once away from my leg while observing, guess again.....SKUNK !

•  from Bill Cotten:

All guide stars (when manually guiding), are variable stars. This is not noticed until you are 15 minutes into a 90 minute exposure. Naturally the stars period is equal to your desired exposure time AND you always start guiding just as soon as it begins it's rapid drop off in brightness to 25th magnitude. As your guide star reaches 15th magnitude, you close the shutter after only 30 minutes. It goes without saying that your composition, focus, polar alignment and guiding accuracy were dead on perfect but you don't realise this until the film is back from the lab and your "Pleiades Nebulosity" shot barely shows enough nebulosity to convince *you* that it is there.

•  from Sean Barr:

I had just got my first good scope after five years of using a sears refractor (brrr!). I set up and got ready for a long night of teaching myself what I had been missing, or so I thought. For those of you who don't know I live in Newfoundland, Canada. A conpany called Sprung had built a huge (5 or 6 football field sized) greenhouse complex 1/2 mile from my house and planned to turn on the SODIUM lights that very moment. I suddenly had no trouble reading my maps, bathed in 1/4 daylight and watching a huge collumn of sickly yellowish light to the south. I had lost 3/4 of the night sky in a heartbeat. Almost two years later they went bankrupt and the lights went out. How would you have handled it? TWO YEARS LOST!