The ABC's of Astronomy

by Sally

A is for Astronomy, the science of far out
B is for Big Bang, how the cosmos came about
C is for Chandrasekhar, who knew things compact
D is for Dark Matter, whose existence is a fact
E is for Eddington, and matters radiative
F is for Faraday, and wave planes rotative
G is for Galaxies, which fly between voids
H is for Hubble, who knew disks from ellipsoids
I is for Ionization, revealing energy states
J is for Julian Day, for periodic dates
K is for Kepler, and his revolution
L is for Local Group, a galaxian profusion
M is for Molecular Cloud, a protostellar batter
N is for Neutron Star, the densest of matter
O is for Oort Cloud, that beyond Pluto lies
P is for Photon, the coveted prize
Q is for Quasar, the most energetic
R is for Redshift, revealing the kinetic
S is for Supernova, nucleosynthesis site
T is for Telescope, gatherer of light
U is for Ultraviolet, seen only from space
V is for Virial Theorem, an equilibrium case
W is for Wolf-Rayet Star, massive and bright
X is for X-ray, where hot things emit light
Y is the fraction of helium by amassed
Z is for Zenith, the highest and last.

 

Those not familiar with astronomy terms, may interpret the below statements as being naughty or suggestive. Shame on you! Astronomers are never naughty...or are they?

{mosimage} Things Astronomers Say that Sound Dirty, but Really Aren't...

1) "Exactly how long is your tube?"

2) "I need a friend to help me grind this thing..."

3) "I want to get in a little naked-eye action."

4) "I want to look at Uranus?"

5) "You need a bigger unit so you can go deeper..."

6) "What's the best way to mount a Short-Tube?"

7) Reasons why smaller apertures are better...

8) Are you going to shoot the Virgin tonight?

9) She looked in awe as it rose higher and higher

10) "Mine is bigger than yours"

11) "Who says size doesn't matter?"

12) "We do it in the dark"

13)"We sometimes do it all night long"

14) EYEGASMS!

15) "I use shower caps over the end of my 6 and 10 inch..., you will need the extra large size for your 12.5 inch."

16) "Do you have your angle of the dangle correct?"

17) "I enjoy viewing heavenly bodies through my telescope...especially during showers"

18) "I love going deep ...."

19) "The deeper the better"

20) "Bigger almost always performs better"

Find more at: Andy's Astronomy Humor Page